Posts
Friday, October 24, 2008
Random Thoughts on DotA
I thought I have nothing to write, but something strikes me today after some games of DotA. DotA, to me is a game of art. I have been going over it since the era of Zion, a platform using mIRC as a medium. Back then was the days of the Singaporeans in Zion. I still remember the first game played by my brother, coupled with some lagginess. Lagginess seems to disappeared in DotA after some games. Seems to have been playing for quite a long while in Zion with two brothers as allies. Kill, been killed, those were the days. Learning skills along the way, and a heart to continue playing. Along came the era of Garena, introduced by my brother, which happened to register as a member a few days earlier before me. Still striving hard as usual in the Garena platform, with brothers occasionally joining me. "Trust", I think about the word trust when it is pointing to my allies, especially more so my brothers. They are learning along the way with me too, until I can associate the word trust unto them. I thought I am going to die, suddenly a stun or disable striked unto my ever preying foe. I escaped from death. I thought I am going alone passing through the towers, but I saw them striding along too. Accurate estimation, ever grabber of opportunities and a heart with no hesitation to attack and retreat together. Protecting and watching out for each other's back, striving the hardest to achieve the only one victory for their team. Subtle mistakes are tolerated over a string of jokes and a sense of humour. I don't have to play to play but instead use the best of abilities to play. I can trust them to have the capacities to stand alone, and also teaming up together when the need arises. They are the individualistic doers, quiet and realistic, very rational, extremely matter of fact persons. Fighting along side with me until now, over thousands of games, quite a long while and quite something in my opinion. Killing spree, unstoppable... Memories of the old days...
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Streamyx HTTP Throttling
Just filed a complaint to both Streamyx help desk and SKMM Consumer Complaints Bureau. Listed below is the contents of the complaint:
"TM started to throttle HTTP downloads of Streamyx services in Bukit Beruang area, Melaka to only average 24KB/s, which accounts for only 18.75% of max achievable speed effective on 1 August 2008. The throttling took place from 1pm to 1am daily until today according to my speculation. I have been using this service for academic purpose, the throttling has interfered with that purpose. Also, it is a serious violation against the policy of Streamyx service as has been stated to its users. The throttling also affects other users in my area, so I strongly urge the management involved to restore the speed of the said service back to its normal state. Please do not take this complaint lightly and update us on any status changes whenever possible through email or contact number."
The service has been restored back to its normal speed on 10 August 2008.
"TM started to throttle HTTP downloads of Streamyx services in Bukit Beruang area, Melaka to only average 24KB/s, which accounts for only 18.75% of max achievable speed effective on 1 August 2008. The throttling took place from 1pm to 1am daily until today according to my speculation. I have been using this service for academic purpose, the throttling has interfered with that purpose. Also, it is a serious violation against the policy of Streamyx service as has been stated to its users. The throttling also affects other users in my area, so I strongly urge the management involved to restore the speed of the said service back to its normal state. Please do not take this complaint lightly and update us on any status changes whenever possible through email or contact number."
The service has been restored back to its normal speed on 10 August 2008.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Broken Hearts
Credits to the original author.
The heart that breaks open can contain the whole universe.
- Joanna Macy, writer and teacher (1929- )
When I first read that quote I thought "Oh, No, another of those namby-pamby, wishy-washy, 'the world's a beautiful place' kind of fluff stuff."
Then I thought about people with broken hearts. That led inevitably to thinking about people whose hearts apparently had never broken.
That moved me to the startling conclusion that I have never met a person who has not suffered from a broken heart who I have liked. They're cold, unfeeling. They care little for anyone else, unless the other person can do something to help them or because it's their duty and it will make them look good.
As co-workers they aren't much fun, unless you want to retire to a pub after work. They usually have a ready supply of jokes or insults to sling around about people who are having problems. You can't learn much from them because they don't care enough to teach anyone else.
While they pride themselves on their parenting skills, it's not much fun to be their child because they have no idea what a child needs. They do know how to structure family life so they visit the theme parks and drive SUVs and the kids know how to behave because they're painful to be around when they bitch about the kid not being well mannered.
People whose hearts have been broken open--usually more than once--so they're never sure they will be able to piece their lives back together again, they care about others. They're sometimes painful to be around too because they want others to avoid having their hearts broken (little knowing how counter-productive that is to building stability and sensitivity in young people). But they care and they show it.
They're usually much loved as parents because they know--perhaps their most important and endearing characteristic--how much those they love need to be touched. Touch is a basic human need, though not one well publicized. Those whose hearts have been broken want to hold their loved ones near, which while being awkward sometimes lets their loved ones know how much they are loved.
People whose hearts have been broken are better listeners, especially to others who have problems. They have been there and know that often just listening is the best form of comforting for someone in great need.
They need to be learners more than those whose hearts have never been broken. Rock-hearted people believe they already know as much as they need to know, find learning from someone else humiliating, believe that nothing is true unless it conforms to their personal life experience.
Those whose hearts have been broken know they will never know enough. They know they didn't know enough to prevent their heart from being broken, so they had better learn more. They never learn the secret (and they shouldn't) but they learn a great deal more along the way.
Broken hearted people know how to trust, even if it hurts them. Rock hearts never trust anyone fully, which makes them shallow people.
Heart-healed people know how to smile in such a way that they convey both that they feel good and that they want others to share what they feel. They appreciate being happy because they know it never lasts. They also eventually learn that unhappiness never lasts. Life is a cycle of ups and downs and the survivors live it more fully.
The survivors share more of themselves and what they have. They share their love with family and loved ones, but also with strangers, homeless people, lost children, dying aunts, co-workers who are "suddenly single."
Heartbreak survivors learn that emotions work like a pendulum, the farther they swing to the negative, the greater the potential they have for their emotions to swing the same distance toward happiness, peace and contentment. Hard hearted people may not get angry much, but they don't have the capacity to enjoy life to the fullest either. They believe that happiness can be bought with money and delight in the acquisition of it.
Those with unbroken hearts like to be bosses because they don't have the ability to be sensitive to the things that common people enjoy and appreciate. They think they are whole people because they have no experience with being other than like rocks. They believe they are the smart ones and those who get their hearts broken are simply careless with their emotions, that are needless anyway.
People with cobbled-together hearts know how to live whole lives, something they discover before they find themselves at the end of it. Some of the rock hearts never learn that and secretly die with the intention of returning to earth and finding a way to take their money with them wherever they go. It's all they really have.
I find it easy to like people whose heart has been broken. We share much in common, including our ability to survive. I wouldn't care if I never met people whose heart has never been broken.
Have you ever wondered about why some kids are so very different from other kids? It's not just their natures. Part of it is that some kids have never had their hearts broken (yet) so they act like the child version of adult rock hearts. A broken heart is not something you wish on a child, but it makes them different people who live different lives because of it.
Life changes when you get your heart broken. It's a tough experience, but no one ever promised us that life would be grand. At least they shouldn't have because it's not. We grow when we survive the worst that life has to throw at us.
People whose hearts have been broken have a greater capacity for life. But you could never convince the rock hearts of that.
The heart that breaks open can contain the whole universe.
- Joanna Macy, writer and teacher (1929- )
When I first read that quote I thought "Oh, No, another of those namby-pamby, wishy-washy, 'the world's a beautiful place' kind of fluff stuff."
Then I thought about people with broken hearts. That led inevitably to thinking about people whose hearts apparently had never broken.
That moved me to the startling conclusion that I have never met a person who has not suffered from a broken heart who I have liked. They're cold, unfeeling. They care little for anyone else, unless the other person can do something to help them or because it's their duty and it will make them look good.
As co-workers they aren't much fun, unless you want to retire to a pub after work. They usually have a ready supply of jokes or insults to sling around about people who are having problems. You can't learn much from them because they don't care enough to teach anyone else.
While they pride themselves on their parenting skills, it's not much fun to be their child because they have no idea what a child needs. They do know how to structure family life so they visit the theme parks and drive SUVs and the kids know how to behave because they're painful to be around when they bitch about the kid not being well mannered.
People whose hearts have been broken open--usually more than once--so they're never sure they will be able to piece their lives back together again, they care about others. They're sometimes painful to be around too because they want others to avoid having their hearts broken (little knowing how counter-productive that is to building stability and sensitivity in young people). But they care and they show it.
They're usually much loved as parents because they know--perhaps their most important and endearing characteristic--how much those they love need to be touched. Touch is a basic human need, though not one well publicized. Those whose hearts have been broken want to hold their loved ones near, which while being awkward sometimes lets their loved ones know how much they are loved.
People whose hearts have been broken are better listeners, especially to others who have problems. They have been there and know that often just listening is the best form of comforting for someone in great need.
They need to be learners more than those whose hearts have never been broken. Rock-hearted people believe they already know as much as they need to know, find learning from someone else humiliating, believe that nothing is true unless it conforms to their personal life experience.
Those whose hearts have been broken know they will never know enough. They know they didn't know enough to prevent their heart from being broken, so they had better learn more. They never learn the secret (and they shouldn't) but they learn a great deal more along the way.
Broken hearted people know how to trust, even if it hurts them. Rock hearts never trust anyone fully, which makes them shallow people.
Heart-healed people know how to smile in such a way that they convey both that they feel good and that they want others to share what they feel. They appreciate being happy because they know it never lasts. They also eventually learn that unhappiness never lasts. Life is a cycle of ups and downs and the survivors live it more fully.
The survivors share more of themselves and what they have. They share their love with family and loved ones, but also with strangers, homeless people, lost children, dying aunts, co-workers who are "suddenly single."
Heartbreak survivors learn that emotions work like a pendulum, the farther they swing to the negative, the greater the potential they have for their emotions to swing the same distance toward happiness, peace and contentment. Hard hearted people may not get angry much, but they don't have the capacity to enjoy life to the fullest either. They believe that happiness can be bought with money and delight in the acquisition of it.
Those with unbroken hearts like to be bosses because they don't have the ability to be sensitive to the things that common people enjoy and appreciate. They think they are whole people because they have no experience with being other than like rocks. They believe they are the smart ones and those who get their hearts broken are simply careless with their emotions, that are needless anyway.
People with cobbled-together hearts know how to live whole lives, something they discover before they find themselves at the end of it. Some of the rock hearts never learn that and secretly die with the intention of returning to earth and finding a way to take their money with them wherever they go. It's all they really have.
I find it easy to like people whose heart has been broken. We share much in common, including our ability to survive. I wouldn't care if I never met people whose heart has never been broken.
Have you ever wondered about why some kids are so very different from other kids? It's not just their natures. Part of it is that some kids have never had their hearts broken (yet) so they act like the child version of adult rock hearts. A broken heart is not something you wish on a child, but it makes them different people who live different lives because of it.
Life changes when you get your heart broken. It's a tough experience, but no one ever promised us that life would be grand. At least they shouldn't have because it's not. We grow when we survive the worst that life has to throw at us.
People whose hearts have been broken have a greater capacity for life. But you could never convince the rock hearts of that.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Reflecting into my Life
Lying in my bed in a seemingly ordinary day of my life reflecting on my mother's words, a surge for letting something off gets me typing. Sometimes one just need a little thinking on what to let out, get started on writing your minds out immediately and click that publish post button. But I know my life means something more than that. I remember vaguely my mother once said something to me, "If you got some problems, you can always come home". I have always respected the greatness of the never-failing love a mother is constantly showing to her own child, especially being borned as the eldest in the family, it means so much more to me. I adore my mother very much just because she is the person I have been relying on ever since I have been borned as an infant. My mother's love have always been a small mirror of the greater love of God. Even with that, it comforts me very much when I seem to be in the midst of a confusion. However great a mother's love may mean to me, God's unconditional love just often come into my mind whenever I ponder upon the word "love". A series of events have always been rolled out in a sequence in a person's life, may it be tragedies or unthinkable happenings or others. Maybe my life happenings fall into the latter. Everyone seems to have a personal firewall of their own in their ongoing life, but I know for certain that God have always known our shortcomings and weaknesses. When something uncomfortable just so happens to crossover into our path of life, something bounds to happen. It all boils down to our way of life and our relationship with God. When it hurts, it really does hurt just because God knows it hurts you. When God wants to shape one's way of life, something that is interfering with God's plan in that person's life has to die. Only with that then can be our life be strengthened and renewed again and again. My life may have been in an upheaval and gone through darker times, God just so have always walked with me through it. Sometimes I may have bore a grudge against God, or even seething hatred, it is because I cannot hate anyone but God. To put it into simpler terms, why hate other people because they seems to not have anything to do with your problems at all. With that I know that God have always been the closest friend in my life. The finite cannot understand the infinite. I am grateful to be able to understand even a fraction of God's love. The laws of all laws share a common trait, it is that they all have something to do with the word "love". To all those who have known me personally, I may have failed as a Christian in my life because of the inability to attend the weekly worship services or gatherings. I know for certain I will end up in the services with everyone else again. Life seems to go out of hand lately, doing favours for everyone who wants me to help them or do some other things. With that something comes into my mind, "Ask and you will be given". I strive to do just that for everyone who asks for my help. I hope that I am not doing favours, but to try to reflect God's love to people around me. Life seems to be in the eternities when day becomes night and night becomes day. Chores are repeating for themselves in the ongoing days of my life. My life may have been folded out in deceptions and the so-called "white-lies", but I know it will be changed and be reshaped again. I may have seen or heard much to a degree of being in a state of ignorance, but deep down in my heart I know that God have seen and heard so much more. I can picture that God have always been caring for what he have seen or heard, be it a very heartbreaking event or a joyous one. Walking steadfastly in my journey of life for two decades plus one year, I know I have nothing to boast about except for the love of God that have been shown to me time and time again. Signing off before the first day of my final exams, got to do some studying later. To everyone who just so happens to stumble upon this post, I pray that it will give even a little thought provoking time to you because I have been given one too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)